What are boundaries?
We hear the term ‘setting boundaries’ a lot, and while people understand the meaning of a boundary, not everyone knows how to set boundaries. It is a crucial aspect of your life that protects your mental space, your physical space, your time, and your energy. As we know by now, personal development starts with you. You have to be the one setting those boundaries! You are the one who gets to decide which boundaries to set and why, you are the one who decides to what extent these boundaries should be set.
We set boundaries based on our level of self-worth. If you have low self-worth, you probably allow people that disrespect you to continue to do that or to stay in your life. Of course, they are responsible for their own actions, and it is inexcusable. People who have themselves on a pedestal and have a sense of self-assurance, only allow people in their lives that match their standards. This is the starting point, raising your self-worth and maintaining standards. Accept the love and respect you deserve and desire, and never settle for less. As you build your self-worth, you begin to see with clearer eyes how you were letting toxic people in your life that drain you. Boundaries are set by communicating them. Choose to be assertive and express your boundaries if anyone crosses them, however, if someone continues to cross your boundaries, you might want to consider crossing them out of your life.
Why do we need them?
The purpose of boundaries is to look after yourself and your health, create better relationships with the ones you love, encourage effective communication, enhance your self-esteem and give yourself and others room for growth. Though this can only happen by setting HEALTHY boundaries.
Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries involve the actions and behaviors you choose to accept from others and the way you show up for others, which is a form of self-care. The truth is that this happens when we set healthy boundaries with ourselves first – the content we consume, the way we treat ourselves, the way we speak to ourselves, the activities we take part in, speaking your mind, being assertive, being vulnerable, standing your ground, and how we take care of our own wellbeing.
Unhealthy Boundaries
Unhealthy boundaries happen when you choose to be powerless and letting others run the show. This is when you struggle to say no, when you become a people-pleaser when you let others make life decisions for you, giving too much without receiving the same level of love and respect in return, oversharing personal information with someone you barely know, going against your ethical values and morals for others. There is a fine line between compromising and sacrificing. You should never sacrifice parts of who you are or your identity or anything that is important to you. Compromising is finding common grounds to ensure that both parties are fulfilled.
Choose self-respect. Choose love. Choose kindness. Anything that doesn’t align should be out of the door this instant. Practice communicating your boundaries and eventually, it will become easier.
How do you communicate your boundaries?