All of us feel lonely at one time or another and for many, these feelings can become more pronounced around the holiday season or as Valentine’s Day approaches.

In this blog post, we’re going to define what loneliness is, name its root cause and share ways that can help you whenever you’re feeling lonely.

What is Loneliness?

Loneliness is both mental and emotional. It is the feeling of being alone or socially isolated from others. Loneliness is a natural reaction for a person to feel whenever their need to belong is not being met.

If you’re feeling lonely, you are not alone. According to a 2018 survey on loneliness that included more than 20,000 American adults, almost half the number of people surveyed reported that they sometimes or always feel alone. The researchers who conducted the survey called these levels “epidemic.”

Several other studies have linked loneliness and depression with poorer health and wellbeing. It has been connected to a number of health issues, including diabetes and heart disease, and can diminish the overall quality of a person’s life.

What Causes Loneliness?

Loneliness is a normal reaction to feeling disconnected from others, either physically, emotionally or both.

Humans are spiritual beings and everything in this universe is connected. And so it is both natural and normal for a person to experience loneliness when they’re not feeling a sense of connection or belonging.

What Can I Do if I’m Feeling Lonely?

• Be mindful and pay attention to your thoughts.

  Loneliness is a state of mind; it is a feeling and not a fact. Try to notice your thoughts about loneliness as they pass and remember that you don’t have to believe every thought you think. You are bigger than your thoughts and you always have the ability to choose the thoughts that define you.

• Remember that loneliness is a shared experience.

  People all over the world and all throughout human history have felt lonely at different times in their lives. It is even possible to feel lonely while surrounded by other people or when you’re in a romantic relationship.

• Make a plan to change the mental and emotional habits of loneliness.

  Spend some time with your thoughts and reflect upon past circumstances that have evoked feelings of loneliness in your life previously. It’s possible you may realize you are dealing with an emotional habit. Once you can recognize this, you can make a plan to deal with loneliness.

• Find ways to connect, even if your loneliness makes that feel impossible.

  Doing this can feel like the hardest thing in the world when you are in a lonely state. But you may find yourself surprised by how receptive your family and friends are if you tell them honestly, “I’ve been feeling lonely. Want to meet-up for a coffee?” Sharing your truth is one of the best ways to reignite old connections or connect deeper with those who are already in your life.

• Seek your people.

  It is now easier than ever before to find and meet new people who enjoy the same things as you. Whether you’re into knitting or kayaking, there are tools that can help you get together with other people who share in those interests. Having a common interest is a natural basis for beginning a friendship.

• Join a class.

Not only can this provide a sense of belonging that comes with being part of a group, it can stimulate creativity and give you something to look forward to during the day.

• Volunteer your time.

Spending time supporting a cause that you believe in can provide the same benefits as taking a class while also bringing the benefits of altruism. Volunteering to work with others who have less can also help you feel a deeper sense of gratitude for what you already have in your own life.

• Always show up.

  If you display a genuine interest in others, they will be attracted to you because you are giving them attention. This, in turn, will often mean you will receive attention as well.

  Expressing curiosity about others also gives us a chance to focus our attention away from our own feelings and towards the making of a genuine connection instead.

• Be persistent.

Not every group you meet or class you try will be an immediate home run. Organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous recommend that everyone try six different groups to find one that suits you best. Even if a particular group seems to be a dead end for you, try another.

• Learn the difference between loneliness and diagnosable depression.

  Sometimes loneliness is just loneliness but sometimes it can lead to depression or is a symptom of depression. According to experts, loneliness is a specific reaction to feeling isolated or alone, whereas depression is a broader feeling that permeates all aspects of your life. If you discover that you no longer enjoy the things you used to enjoy, you may be experiencing depression.

  It goes without saying that if you are dealing with loneliness that is part of general depression, anxiety or any other mental health issue, you should seek treatment from a licensed psychologist.

  But also know that loneliness is a good enough reason to seek help. Loneliness is a feeling that can bring you down and make life difficult to navigate. Talking through your loneliness and having someone help you come up with an action plan for dealing with it, are great steps toward your overall happiness and a greater sense of well-being.

• Reprogram your mind through hypnosis and meditation.

  Learning to practice mindful meditation and listening to hypnosis audios are both great tools for increasing your awareness of the thoughts that cross your mind and learning to change or let them go when needed. We recommend listening to our hypnosis audio Abundance, Love & Healing.

  Also, if you’re a woman who is feeling lonely in your relationship, we also have the Improve Your Marriage hypnosis audio.

We all feel lonely at times; it is both normal and natural.

But we all also deserve to feel better — to feel connected, cared for, purposeful and loved. It is essential then, that we each take the time to understand ourselves, our thoughts and our feelings and then to spend the time to take inspired actions that can improve our overall well being. This is the work that makes this life journey feel meaningful and worthwhile.